Hehehe... Yeah, I'm confused by now as well, so let me take a step back and ask a question or two. The owners manual does not differentiate between the QTII (what you have) and the QDII (what I have), so I'll start with the assumption that ESP and TCS work the same for both.
Without using you toggle switch mod, do you get the "ESP OFF" message on the EVIC when you are in Park and hold down the ESP button for the 5 (or whatever) seconds like the manual says? If you follow this procedure, what is the effect when wheeling?